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cursedcassandraSleep is ever elusive and I'm am drawn to the giant time-suck that is LJ to fill these early morning hours.
*bleck*
Daily Inventory:
Happy Feet
Shoe inserts + icing my foot+ Aleve= Happier Feet
I didn't even squeak this morning when I got out of bed--that my friends is progress! Dogma, study up, I swear my feet are smiling.
Walmart Life
I hate hate hate Walmart and yet I am drawn to the evil evil discount den by promises of cheap toilet paper and generic over the counter drugs. I took D on my latest trip to the bad place so that he could share in bargain nirvana. Surprisingly D did not see it as an opportunity to reap the benefits of "falling prices" but rather as the result of his bad karma. I don't think I'll be taking him to Ikea anytime soon.
Anyways, went to Walmart, gawked at all of the cheap shit that's produced at the expense of the health and well-being of thousands of underpaid foreign workers (and yes, I'm a big fat hypocrite because I did buy things there), noted with some amusement and trepidation that there were more obese people per capita in Walmart than anywhere else in the Central Valley, and purchased a pill-minder, a cold pack for my foot, generic Aleve, and a bag of Laffy Taffy. Bemoaned the fact that I was at Walmart on a Saturday night and helped D pick out waterwings for his daughter.
The whole trip smacked of that suburban domesticity that routinely scares the holy hell out of me. This could be my life "for real." Those screaming children, that disgruntled husband, this fat ass could be mine...forever. Having to shop at the local Walmart could be a necessity and not an ironic side trip for toilet paper. My life could be engraved in this community as such.
I thought about D in particular and what our life and children would be like, and how different the world would seem if I chose to tangle my life with his.
I almost had a panic attack in the store.
Marriage scares the hell out of me---children too. When I think of these commitments I become claustrophobic and gasping for more time for myself. I suppose that these are good indicators that I'm not ready for the responsibility of any of those relationships. But, somehow, I feel left behind...
But I also feel like I'm ready to become an entirely different person and I need time for that. I think that the overused metaphor of a butterfly and cocoon applies here. I just need to figure out who that person will be. There's a whole different life lurking out there...I simply need to find it and claim it for my own.
Me and Granny Down at the Swimming Pool
I'm trying to re-introduce positive things into my everyday routines. Since I can't work-out with my regular regimen (because I have to be gentle with my sad little foot), I'm going to try to go to Water Aerobics mornings at the gym. Yes, old lady water aerobics! I'm actually pretty excited about going to the gym in any capacity and there's certainly no apprehension of how I'll look in my swimsuit. Let's just hope that no one out-paces me--that would be a little hard to live down.
Happy Birthday O!
You'll never read this but I am so happy to welcome you to this side of the "twenties." You have earned your curmudgeon wings...get ready to fly! I'm so glad we're friends!
*bleck*
Daily Inventory:
Happy Feet
Shoe inserts + icing my foot+ Aleve= Happier Feet
I didn't even squeak this morning when I got out of bed--that my friends is progress! Dogma, study up, I swear my feet are smiling.
Walmart Life
I hate hate hate Walmart and yet I am drawn to the evil evil discount den by promises of cheap toilet paper and generic over the counter drugs. I took D on my latest trip to the bad place so that he could share in bargain nirvana. Surprisingly D did not see it as an opportunity to reap the benefits of "falling prices" but rather as the result of his bad karma. I don't think I'll be taking him to Ikea anytime soon.
Anyways, went to Walmart, gawked at all of the cheap shit that's produced at the expense of the health and well-being of thousands of underpaid foreign workers (and yes, I'm a big fat hypocrite because I did buy things there), noted with some amusement and trepidation that there were more obese people per capita in Walmart than anywhere else in the Central Valley, and purchased a pill-minder, a cold pack for my foot, generic Aleve, and a bag of Laffy Taffy. Bemoaned the fact that I was at Walmart on a Saturday night and helped D pick out waterwings for his daughter.
The whole trip smacked of that suburban domesticity that routinely scares the holy hell out of me. This could be my life "for real." Those screaming children, that disgruntled husband, this fat ass could be mine...forever. Having to shop at the local Walmart could be a necessity and not an ironic side trip for toilet paper. My life could be engraved in this community as such.
I thought about D in particular and what our life and children would be like, and how different the world would seem if I chose to tangle my life with his.
I almost had a panic attack in the store.
Marriage scares the hell out of me---children too. When I think of these commitments I become claustrophobic and gasping for more time for myself. I suppose that these are good indicators that I'm not ready for the responsibility of any of those relationships. But, somehow, I feel left behind...
But I also feel like I'm ready to become an entirely different person and I need time for that. I think that the overused metaphor of a butterfly and cocoon applies here. I just need to figure out who that person will be. There's a whole different life lurking out there...I simply need to find it and claim it for my own.
Me and Granny Down at the Swimming Pool
I'm trying to re-introduce positive things into my everyday routines. Since I can't work-out with my regular regimen (because I have to be gentle with my sad little foot), I'm going to try to go to Water Aerobics mornings at the gym. Yes, old lady water aerobics! I'm actually pretty excited about going to the gym in any capacity and there's certainly no apprehension of how I'll look in my swimsuit. Let's just hope that no one out-paces me--that would be a little hard to live down.
Happy Birthday O!
You'll never read this but I am so happy to welcome you to this side of the "twenties." You have earned your curmudgeon wings...get ready to fly! I'm so glad we're friends!
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-02 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-02 09:49 pm (UTC)I'm shocked that anyone reads this tripe, so new friends are always welcome!
So hello! Thank you! :) Nice to meet you.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-02 07:26 am (UTC)i really need to get off my ass and go buy insurance.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-02 09:53 pm (UTC)If it's plantar faciitis, there isn't much a doctor can do save for recommend the aforementioned.
*shrugs*
Feel better though :)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-03 10:22 am (UTC)i have a feeling that we, in the east, are a bit more advanced in the treatment arena than the west coast. cortesone (approx 3 shots per foot) followed up with physical therapy and ankle dorsiflexion splints (made just down the street from B'more) have a very good record for repairing the flexor tendons (plantar fascia for you and i). the surgery option is not an option for me. releasing some of the tendon just sounds foolish — and, to the best of my knowledge, isn't reversible.
since driving, in the areas that i work, is impractical at best and that i cannot take extended periods (ie: more than 24 hours) away from my 6 day work week, sitting my ass isn't really an option. i try, but duty calls and i have always been duty bound to a fault.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-03 10:55 am (UTC)Alas, poor feet...