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I went to Dana's going away party last night and actually encountered something I haven't seen before.
It's funny, I have many, many, many gay and lesbian friends and I've known a few transsexuals (both mtf and ftm) but I've never quite known a full-blown post-op mature transsexual. I make this distinction, because in my experience, people who are transitioning tend to go through a secondary adolescence where they try on several different male or female personas and generally learn to re-explore the world as a male or female. It's a necessary part of the process, but it's annoying as hell to be around. I've always had to separate the person from the phase and have inadvertently developed a rather negative opinion of transsexualism as a result.
That is, until last night. The tranny boys (ftm) I met last night had fully transitioned and had seemed to settle into their identities. They were attentive, doting, interesting, sensitive, kind and had decided to take on the aspects of chivalry (opening doors, paying for drinks, pulling out chairs, etc.) without the nasty accompaniment of chauvinism. It was great and a necessary and happy glimpse into the light at the end of the tunnel. It helped me understand the maturation process a little better. It was a good night for developing understanding.
At the bar (I should mention that I was drinking Diet Coke--turning over a new leaf from last week's champagne bender and NYE's abuse of my body and mind), I had the privilege of standing up to the bar bully. He was very drunk, a bit hillbilly, and came over and literally stole a seat out from under Ben (one of the ftms). It was incredible behavior, straight out of a junior high lunchroom (except this guy was in his 40s). It's really not okay to push people around, so I got up to get the chair back. A chorus of "don't bothers" rose from the group, esp. from Ben, but I was not to be dissuaded. I wagered that the hillbilly was unlikely to pick a fight with me, just by virtue of my appearance, identifications, and gender and I've always found that my secret weapon tends to catch people off guard. Soo, I approached this guy and all of his cool-guy friends and said, "That was incredibly rude and uncalled for. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Give that chair back right now! What would your mother say? You have bad manners!" He was shocked--people expect to be yelled out, called names, or threatened, but they rarely expect to be scolded and to have their mother's disapproval invoked. I got the chair back without violence but he did make a nuisance out of himself for the rest of the night, but I succeeded in my efforts. I left shortly thereafter and came home.
Today I run to the Bay to give Heidi an Imac and to visit the Fatherland (IKEA!--I need to buy desk lamps for the new office). And tonight, dinner with Lee at Ethiopia (yum!) and a movie at the Parkway. It's a guilty pleasure (I should be saving money now that I'm el broko), but hopefully worth the splurge.
Have a lovely weekend!
It's funny, I have many, many, many gay and lesbian friends and I've known a few transsexuals (both mtf and ftm) but I've never quite known a full-blown post-op mature transsexual. I make this distinction, because in my experience, people who are transitioning tend to go through a secondary adolescence where they try on several different male or female personas and generally learn to re-explore the world as a male or female. It's a necessary part of the process, but it's annoying as hell to be around. I've always had to separate the person from the phase and have inadvertently developed a rather negative opinion of transsexualism as a result.
That is, until last night. The tranny boys (ftm) I met last night had fully transitioned and had seemed to settle into their identities. They were attentive, doting, interesting, sensitive, kind and had decided to take on the aspects of chivalry (opening doors, paying for drinks, pulling out chairs, etc.) without the nasty accompaniment of chauvinism. It was great and a necessary and happy glimpse into the light at the end of the tunnel. It helped me understand the maturation process a little better. It was a good night for developing understanding.
At the bar (I should mention that I was drinking Diet Coke--turning over a new leaf from last week's champagne bender and NYE's abuse of my body and mind), I had the privilege of standing up to the bar bully. He was very drunk, a bit hillbilly, and came over and literally stole a seat out from under Ben (one of the ftms). It was incredible behavior, straight out of a junior high lunchroom (except this guy was in his 40s). It's really not okay to push people around, so I got up to get the chair back. A chorus of "don't bothers" rose from the group, esp. from Ben, but I was not to be dissuaded. I wagered that the hillbilly was unlikely to pick a fight with me, just by virtue of my appearance, identifications, and gender and I've always found that my secret weapon tends to catch people off guard. Soo, I approached this guy and all of his cool-guy friends and said, "That was incredibly rude and uncalled for. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Give that chair back right now! What would your mother say? You have bad manners!" He was shocked--people expect to be yelled out, called names, or threatened, but they rarely expect to be scolded and to have their mother's disapproval invoked. I got the chair back without violence but he did make a nuisance out of himself for the rest of the night, but I succeeded in my efforts. I left shortly thereafter and came home.
Today I run to the Bay to give Heidi an Imac and to visit the Fatherland (IKEA!--I need to buy desk lamps for the new office). And tonight, dinner with Lee at Ethiopia (yum!) and a movie at the Parkway. It's a guilty pleasure (I should be saving money now that I'm el broko), but hopefully worth the splurge.
Have a lovely weekend!
