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The American Dream--Ramble Part 2
Jul. 14th, 2005 12:08 amNow that I've gotten my marriage rant out of the way and have had a night to develop some perspective, I've come to the conclusion that *gasp* I'm not inherently against marriage and family, but rather I'm frustrated by how it's currently offered and practiced.
It's all part of the American Dream and it seems pretty hollow at this juncture. The AD, to me, represents isolation, materialism, mediocrity, and a pervasive loneliness. It's nothing that I want a part of, but it doesn't mean that there isn't the opportunity and ability to reshape the dream as we know it. I think that my generation is on the cusp of redefining it, and ideally I'd like to be part of that movement. I'm frustrated, but hopeful.
That's why I'm gravitating towards pursuing a career in Urban Planning and Policy. There's an opportunity to redefine physical space in more communal terms and to structure communities in a more organic fashion. There's so much that can be done policy-wise and through grass-roots community involvement to improve our lives. Cities that embrace these models seem to thrive--I'd love to be part of that transformative force.
I think it's also why I'm fascinated with "urban tribes", co-housing, and alternative family structures (while I am uncomfortable with them, I am none the less fascinated). It's a new way to redefine adulthood, family, and relationships. It's bold and it seems to satisfy people in a way that the traditional nuclear model doesn't. This may also explain why many of my friends are gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual, left out of the traditional models of marriage and family, they've developed their own, based largely on choice. All of these groups are scrapping the tired old conventions and creating their own--structures that fit and don't confine.
And I'm fascinated by these new worlds that are constantly forming and reforming, but the part of me still desperately embraces the conventional. I'm afraid that I'll grow tired of defying my parents' expectations, hitting the snooze button on my biological clock, and postponing certain rites of passage (like marriage, home ownership, etc.) and will succumb to something easy and ultimately, I think, unsatisfying. I'm afraid I'll sell out and have the same relationship I see so often replicated with my heterosexual peers. I'll be that pissed off, bored wife in subdivisions.
But I don't have to be.
Very simply, I'm afraid, but still hopeful that I can carve out a life and do some good in this world on my terms.
So, forgive my projections and thanks for hanging in with the rant.
It's all part of the American Dream and it seems pretty hollow at this juncture. The AD, to me, represents isolation, materialism, mediocrity, and a pervasive loneliness. It's nothing that I want a part of, but it doesn't mean that there isn't the opportunity and ability to reshape the dream as we know it. I think that my generation is on the cusp of redefining it, and ideally I'd like to be part of that movement. I'm frustrated, but hopeful.
That's why I'm gravitating towards pursuing a career in Urban Planning and Policy. There's an opportunity to redefine physical space in more communal terms and to structure communities in a more organic fashion. There's so much that can be done policy-wise and through grass-roots community involvement to improve our lives. Cities that embrace these models seem to thrive--I'd love to be part of that transformative force.
I think it's also why I'm fascinated with "urban tribes", co-housing, and alternative family structures (while I am uncomfortable with them, I am none the less fascinated). It's a new way to redefine adulthood, family, and relationships. It's bold and it seems to satisfy people in a way that the traditional nuclear model doesn't. This may also explain why many of my friends are gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual, left out of the traditional models of marriage and family, they've developed their own, based largely on choice. All of these groups are scrapping the tired old conventions and creating their own--structures that fit and don't confine.
And I'm fascinated by these new worlds that are constantly forming and reforming, but the part of me still desperately embraces the conventional. I'm afraid that I'll grow tired of defying my parents' expectations, hitting the snooze button on my biological clock, and postponing certain rites of passage (like marriage, home ownership, etc.) and will succumb to something easy and ultimately, I think, unsatisfying. I'm afraid I'll sell out and have the same relationship I see so often replicated with my heterosexual peers. I'll be that pissed off, bored wife in subdivisions.
But I don't have to be.
Very simply, I'm afraid, but still hopeful that I can carve out a life and do some good in this world on my terms.
So, forgive my projections and thanks for hanging in with the rant.
