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An Open Letter to Kate O' Brien
Oct. 8th, 2004 01:58 pmDear Kate,
If you are having problems in your marriage, please consult your husband. Please refrain from directing your angry, insecure diatribes to me. I'm not interested in being part of the drama that clearly is your married life. Perhaps you should ask your husband why he chose to frame recent events in a way that would threaten and/or concern you. Maybe, just maybe, the solution to your jealousy and insecurity rests in communicating with one another and not me.
Please also refrain from hacking into my journal. What's public is clearly fair game, but the entries that you seem to be alluding to are behind a "friends only" filter that takes some effort to break through. The fact that you've taken the trouble to find and break into my journal indicates that you are clearly the one who has a problem with fixation.
As for the lies and half-truths in a public forum--anything I've written here has been honest. If I've speculated and been wrong, it was promptly removed. Either way, any entry involving Dan has been placed behind a friends filter (see my concerns about your breaking into my journal) or was written so long ago that (it's a little frightening that you've decided to page back two years) you aren't qualified to evaluate the veracity of the claims. Truth be told, you hardly know Dan and you know even less about the history that he and I shared. If some things seem hard to believe, try context and communication--don't immediately denounce them as false and don't come to me because you don't enjoy what you've read. Your feelings are not my problem.
As for your criticism and demands that I stop referring to you or Dan in my OWN journal. Perhaps out of the heat of the moment, even you can see the insanity of your request. This isn't a forum that you were ever invited to be part of. I'll say what I like--I don't give a damned if it offends you. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's a simple solution within your grasp.
As for not talking to Dan. Last time I checked, he was an adult of sound (though often questionable) mind. If he wants to stop talking to me, that's his perogative, not yours. If you don't want me in your life I suggest you stop reading my journal, breaking into my journal, writing me at email addresses that I've never disclosed to you, and coming into my place of business--I think we'd all be happier for it.
I offered to help Dan (after he came into my place of business) with a vacant apartment (I've been housesitting for the past two weeks, he's lived there before, and until today he hasn't returned my key) and DMV information--as you probably know, out of habit, I'm used to helping Dan out of tight spots. He responded with a quip about you offering him Euros to proposition me for sex. It was tacky and I chose to ignore it. If you're after inappropriate behavior, I'd look a little closer to home.
Your references to my emotional health were amusing, all things considered. Physician, heal thyself. Perhaps a little more introspection on your own situation would be more fruitful than lashing out at your husband's ex. You've clearly got a lot of problems that good manners and time prevent me from listing--I suggest you take all of the energy you pore into your insecurity and jealousy and put it towards something positive, like working on your many, many, many issues.
As for your unwritten but nonetheless very clearly communicated concern that I still have feelings for Dan. You shouldn't worry, because honestly, if I wanted him, I'd have him. I made extraordinarily difficult decisions and took great pains to make sure that I didn't wind up with him. He and I fell out of love a very, very, very long time ago--while we were still dating in fact--if you've been cruising my journal you'll have seen that that's case. It's none of your business, but just to allay your fears, sex or a relationship with Dan was never on my agenda. I do however, think it's ironic that these fears and this jealousy are coming out of a VERY self-proclaimed poly amorous marriage. I wish you luck, you'll need it. I also wish you luck in parenting--try not to let Evie be a casualty of your "issues" and upbringing--she deserves a good parent and a stable situation. Work to provide that--not to dump your insecurities on people you hardly know.
I'm happy to leave you alone please extend the same courtesy to me.
Cheers!
Laura
If you are having problems in your marriage, please consult your husband. Please refrain from directing your angry, insecure diatribes to me. I'm not interested in being part of the drama that clearly is your married life. Perhaps you should ask your husband why he chose to frame recent events in a way that would threaten and/or concern you. Maybe, just maybe, the solution to your jealousy and insecurity rests in communicating with one another and not me.
Please also refrain from hacking into my journal. What's public is clearly fair game, but the entries that you seem to be alluding to are behind a "friends only" filter that takes some effort to break through. The fact that you've taken the trouble to find and break into my journal indicates that you are clearly the one who has a problem with fixation.
As for the lies and half-truths in a public forum--anything I've written here has been honest. If I've speculated and been wrong, it was promptly removed. Either way, any entry involving Dan has been placed behind a friends filter (see my concerns about your breaking into my journal) or was written so long ago that (it's a little frightening that you've decided to page back two years) you aren't qualified to evaluate the veracity of the claims. Truth be told, you hardly know Dan and you know even less about the history that he and I shared. If some things seem hard to believe, try context and communication--don't immediately denounce them as false and don't come to me because you don't enjoy what you've read. Your feelings are not my problem.
As for your criticism and demands that I stop referring to you or Dan in my OWN journal. Perhaps out of the heat of the moment, even you can see the insanity of your request. This isn't a forum that you were ever invited to be part of. I'll say what I like--I don't give a damned if it offends you. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's a simple solution within your grasp.
As for not talking to Dan. Last time I checked, he was an adult of sound (though often questionable) mind. If he wants to stop talking to me, that's his perogative, not yours. If you don't want me in your life I suggest you stop reading my journal, breaking into my journal, writing me at email addresses that I've never disclosed to you, and coming into my place of business--I think we'd all be happier for it.
I offered to help Dan (after he came into my place of business) with a vacant apartment (I've been housesitting for the past two weeks, he's lived there before, and until today he hasn't returned my key) and DMV information--as you probably know, out of habit, I'm used to helping Dan out of tight spots. He responded with a quip about you offering him Euros to proposition me for sex. It was tacky and I chose to ignore it. If you're after inappropriate behavior, I'd look a little closer to home.
Your references to my emotional health were amusing, all things considered. Physician, heal thyself. Perhaps a little more introspection on your own situation would be more fruitful than lashing out at your husband's ex. You've clearly got a lot of problems that good manners and time prevent me from listing--I suggest you take all of the energy you pore into your insecurity and jealousy and put it towards something positive, like working on your many, many, many issues.
As for your unwritten but nonetheless very clearly communicated concern that I still have feelings for Dan. You shouldn't worry, because honestly, if I wanted him, I'd have him. I made extraordinarily difficult decisions and took great pains to make sure that I didn't wind up with him. He and I fell out of love a very, very, very long time ago--while we were still dating in fact--if you've been cruising my journal you'll have seen that that's case. It's none of your business, but just to allay your fears, sex or a relationship with Dan was never on my agenda. I do however, think it's ironic that these fears and this jealousy are coming out of a VERY self-proclaimed poly amorous marriage. I wish you luck, you'll need it. I also wish you luck in parenting--try not to let Evie be a casualty of your "issues" and upbringing--she deserves a good parent and a stable situation. Work to provide that--not to dump your insecurities on people you hardly know.
I'm happy to leave you alone please extend the same courtesy to me.
Cheers!
Laura
