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Welfare Sangria and Pedicures.
Apr. 10th, 2004 12:54 amI'm a little bit drunk.
And that's okay. It was pedicure and Welfare Sangria night at Holly's and I partook of the forbidden (and fermented) fruit. But now I'm drunk and my poor sad tummy is already protesting.
I think Dan is on a date tonight. I think I'm okay with that. Granted, he's a grown up and allowed to do whatever he wants (and I recognize that) but I think I'm happy for him. Or could potentially be happy for him. I'm not hurt, I'm not devastated, and there hasn't been a single tear shed (this round). Last week's kiss may have sealed my understanding--I am no longer "in love" with Dan anymore.
And I'm glad for it.
The breakfast this morning was semi-awful. Yes, the sibling (and sibling-in-law) asked those dreaded questions about the rest of my life (and what I'm *still* doing with it). Yes, there were awkward silences. Yes, I felt like utter crap. My older niece (who is twenty months old and finally a "little" girl) spilled hot coffee on me (but not her, she's a clever one--I'll give her that). My younger niece (who is seven weeks old) smiled and burped for me and did her generally cute squirmy infant thing. But my brother and sister-in-law. Wow. It's amazing how even meals are difficult to coordinate with the care and responsibility of two little kids. They had to switch off with the babies and took turns eating. I was amazed and further convinced that I am NOT READY TO HAVE CHILDREN. There are very few things that I'm sure about, and that's one of them. It made me feel a bit better, all things considered. I made the right decision to wait to have children. I'm not ready and that too is okay.
Work was all right, the cute doctor/social justice/public health boy came in. I'm impressed with him. If I weren't committed to this celibacy-getting-my-life-together shit, I'd probably have a crush oh him, but as it stands I just think he's neat-o. And that's okay too.
I'm not so drunk that I'm neglecting the after-booze skin care regimen. I also drank some water and threw in some Advil for good measure. Wish me luck.
And that's okay. It was pedicure and Welfare Sangria night at Holly's and I partook of the forbidden (and fermented) fruit. But now I'm drunk and my poor sad tummy is already protesting.
I think Dan is on a date tonight. I think I'm okay with that. Granted, he's a grown up and allowed to do whatever he wants (and I recognize that) but I think I'm happy for him. Or could potentially be happy for him. I'm not hurt, I'm not devastated, and there hasn't been a single tear shed (this round). Last week's kiss may have sealed my understanding--I am no longer "in love" with Dan anymore.
And I'm glad for it.
The breakfast this morning was semi-awful. Yes, the sibling (and sibling-in-law) asked those dreaded questions about the rest of my life (and what I'm *still* doing with it). Yes, there were awkward silences. Yes, I felt like utter crap. My older niece (who is twenty months old and finally a "little" girl) spilled hot coffee on me (but not her, she's a clever one--I'll give her that). My younger niece (who is seven weeks old) smiled and burped for me and did her generally cute squirmy infant thing. But my brother and sister-in-law. Wow. It's amazing how even meals are difficult to coordinate with the care and responsibility of two little kids. They had to switch off with the babies and took turns eating. I was amazed and further convinced that I am NOT READY TO HAVE CHILDREN. There are very few things that I'm sure about, and that's one of them. It made me feel a bit better, all things considered. I made the right decision to wait to have children. I'm not ready and that too is okay.
Work was all right, the cute doctor/social justice/public health boy came in. I'm impressed with him. If I weren't committed to this celibacy-getting-my-life-together shit, I'd probably have a crush oh him, but as it stands I just think he's neat-o. And that's okay too.
I'm not so drunk that I'm neglecting the after-booze skin care regimen. I also drank some water and threw in some Advil for good measure. Wish me luck.
