(no subject)
Jan. 24th, 2003 12:26 amI am still very sad.
I started a new anti-depressant yesterday. Pinning all my hopes on better living through chemistry.
Heard through the grapevine that D is breaking up with his new girlfriend, that he's started smoking again, and that he's miserable. Karma is a bitch...I'd say he's got a lot more coming...lots and lots more.
Still can't get over the fact that he posted an internet personal while we were still dating, started seeing her days after we'd been together, hid that fact, and started fucking her within a couple of weeks. And while I'd love to blame it on him being a "typical guy," after sex in any and all forms, I know that's not who he is. He's 34 and this is only 5th person he's ever been with--and all of the women who came before were people he had been in relationships with. I should stop thinking about this. I will never feel good about it and I will never completely understand it. But it keeps creeping in...
On a weird note...I got IMed by an old high school friend last night, J. I had a crush on J from junior high through my freshman year in college--always unrequited. He was witty, clever, and very attractive and I regarded him as a minor deity. Last night he wanted to whack off for me on his webcam. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I'm retiring that pedestal. Oy.
Is it fair at this juncture to throw up my hands and say, "men!"?
I started a new anti-depressant yesterday. Pinning all my hopes on better living through chemistry.
Heard through the grapevine that D is breaking up with his new girlfriend, that he's started smoking again, and that he's miserable. Karma is a bitch...I'd say he's got a lot more coming...lots and lots more.
Still can't get over the fact that he posted an internet personal while we were still dating, started seeing her days after we'd been together, hid that fact, and started fucking her within a couple of weeks. And while I'd love to blame it on him being a "typical guy," after sex in any and all forms, I know that's not who he is. He's 34 and this is only 5th person he's ever been with--and all of the women who came before were people he had been in relationships with. I should stop thinking about this. I will never feel good about it and I will never completely understand it. But it keeps creeping in...
On a weird note...I got IMed by an old high school friend last night, J. I had a crush on J from junior high through my freshman year in college--always unrequited. He was witty, clever, and very attractive and I regarded him as a minor deity. Last night he wanted to whack off for me on his webcam. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I'm retiring that pedestal. Oy.
Is it fair at this juncture to throw up my hands and say, "men!"?