There's just something about my chest.

That screams nurture, comfort, and love.

This is especially true for children.

I wish it screamed porn star, defies gravity, or hot cha cha.

Unfortunately, for this is not true for fantastically hot men.

Alas.

I grew up with much younger sisters, inevitably they and their little friends would make a beeline for my boobs whenever they were hurt or sad. My ex's daughter once left the protection of her father's lap to bury her head in my chest during a particularly loud fireworks display. My niece likes to nuzzle me in a way that makes me distinctly uncomfortable. It's like something primal speaks to these children and says "COMFORTING BOSOM, THIS WAY!" I sometimes have to pry them off...kids are the number one thing I *don't* want between my breasts, right behind festering blisters or a tattoo of a ex's name. It's just not a good thing. I'm not overly fond of the wee ones and prefer that my breasts remain purely recreational at this juncture.

So, it was more than a little amusing when this delightful little boy, named Finnegan, came in this afternoon. He must have been a year old and he was SO cute. Tons of hair, a strong will (he threw his hat on the floor when my boss complimented him on it and informed his dad by an emphatic head shake that he was not going to wear it again), and a definite talent for working a crowd (he kept lifting his arms as though he were trying to get my boss and co-worker to do the wave).

When he saw me, his eyes got wide and he looked up at his dad and said, "Mama." His dad corrected him and said, "Not Mama" and then little Finnegan began patting his imaginary breasts and insisted, "MAMA." And little Finn kept patting his chest and calling out "Mama" until his Dad saw that I was blushing and hustled his progeny out of the store.

I have a funny feeling that it might have been lunchtime for our little boob man? It's that, or the kid has already cultivated an early appreciation for the female form. I do have to give him some credit, he's already got a knack for making the ladies blush.

Oy.

emma_goldman Meme

what are you reading right now?
Four books concurrently (I try not to do this, but between conflicting responsibilities and the library's demands, I've gotta multitask like a mofo),
The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd for pleasure (and because the nice lady who lends me books said that she needed it back soon),
Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer for bookclub. God, I love those crazy-ass Mormons,
Stealing Jesus by Bruce Bawer, because dragonteeth recommended it and I think it will help inform our bookclub discussion,
and Suburban Nation by Andres Duany,Elizabeth Plater-Zyberk,Jeff Speck...because I want to.

what's on your nightstand?
No nightstand, have managed to avoid having one for years and years and years. However, next to the bed we have the aforementioned books, a bottle of water, lotion, lip balm, and a hair clip.

current itunes/playlist favorites?
I can't seem to get enough of the new Jack Johnson and Gorillaz CDs.

what chore(s) are you putting off that really, really need(s) to get done?
My dishes are getting really frightening. I really, really, really, really need to overhaul the sink and get them washed. But I really, really, really, really don't wanna. I had to use a plastic fork tonight. It's more than a little pathetic. I also need to go through my closet and get rid of all the clothes that no longer fit me or that I just don't wear. WEAVE donation station, here I come! Whoo hoo!

your idea for a reality show?
Get two teams of high falutin' Berzerkely grad students, take away all their money and earthly possessions and see who fares the best in the Bay Area. Special prizes for who finds the Scharfenburger dumpster first and who can master the best "spange" on Telegraph Ave. This would be an incredibly assholic concept if it weren't already being mastered by trust-fund babies gone hard-core gutter punks all over the East Bay. Phbtt!

now you do it!