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Posting Whore
Mar. 12th, 2004 12:16 amToday was another glorious day. I spent the better part of it listening to my favorite Zero 7 CD (in anticipation of the new Zero 7 release) and strangely longing for Burning Man.
Spring has definitely arrived and with it, certain impulses are rearing their ugly head. My last visit with Madam Therapist (whom I adore) ended with her charging me with this task: identify self-sabotaging urges before they before become self-sabotaging behaviors. Sadly, given my illustrious history with men, my desire for sex (and therefore men) can best be described as a self-sabotaging urge. But I don't think it's healthy to view sexual desire as a self-sabotaging urge. I'm muddling things and that's trouble. And *sigh* I still want to get laid.
Oy.
In other worlds, I'm starting to actually feel like I'm getting somewhere with the weight loss. I'm down 15 pounds and people are starting to comment on it. Last night Dan saw me and asked me turn around. "Hey, you're smaller. What's going on?" And I told him and he nodded his head and agreed, "skinnier." That made me happy. It's finally happening. Amen.
Dan worked on my back last night. It's funny, there was all kinds of touching and yet (despite my inflamed libido), I felt nothing. He cracked my back, worked a little spine magic, and we chatted a bit. The conversation was fabulous...there was none of the insecurity that usually accompanies our interactions--it just was. We were two people who got along well and, because of the past, loved one another. It felt good. I may just be over Dan. One never knows, but I'm pretty close to declaring it a victory. Go me.
Spring has definitely arrived and with it, certain impulses are rearing their ugly head. My last visit with Madam Therapist (whom I adore) ended with her charging me with this task: identify self-sabotaging urges before they before become self-sabotaging behaviors. Sadly, given my illustrious history with men, my desire for sex (and therefore men) can best be described as a self-sabotaging urge. But I don't think it's healthy to view sexual desire as a self-sabotaging urge. I'm muddling things and that's trouble. And *sigh* I still want to get laid.
Oy.
In other worlds, I'm starting to actually feel like I'm getting somewhere with the weight loss. I'm down 15 pounds and people are starting to comment on it. Last night Dan saw me and asked me turn around. "Hey, you're smaller. What's going on?" And I told him and he nodded his head and agreed, "skinnier." That made me happy. It's finally happening. Amen.
Dan worked on my back last night. It's funny, there was all kinds of touching and yet (despite my inflamed libido), I felt nothing. He cracked my back, worked a little spine magic, and we chatted a bit. The conversation was fabulous...there was none of the insecurity that usually accompanies our interactions--it just was. We were two people who got along well and, because of the past, loved one another. It felt good. I may just be over Dan. One never knows, but I'm pretty close to declaring it a victory. Go me.
