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Who knew that the Beatles were that prophetic?
I am SO broke, it's not even funny. I need to find a "real" job with "real" money as soon as possible...if only I could convince a "real" employer to hire me. I won't trouble you with a balance sheet, but at the rate I'm going, to pay off all my current debts (student loans and credit cards, not including interest) I'd have to dedicate THREE years of my current income exclusively to that end. That my friends is a deeply depressing fact. Oy.
A word to the youth: don't get credit cards...they're trouble, I promise; take money from your parents if they offer it...pride gets you no where but in debt; waitress...any job you take in college will be thankless, you should at least get paid appropriately for your grief. Thanks for letting me post the PSA.
Anyway, much anxiety over the whole "no money/no real job" situation. This combined with the enormous workload at Job #1, my dread over going home for Christmas, and my angst about D has left me feeling rather, well, cranky. It's the emotional equivalent to a hangover--you know you'll live through it but you have no idea how long it will last or how bad it will get. I'm less despondent but more cynical. The crying has stopped for now but the lack of faith in humanity has begun--I'm not sure that I'm thrilled about the trade. Three days ago I hated one person intensely, today I have a mild distaste for everyone. Directed anger worked much better for me. Oh well, I guess I'm healing...I wish it the whole process would hurry itself up.
The worst part about breaking up is knowing that you are subject to the "process." If only relationships disappeared as quickly as they sparked...D would be gone from my memory within the week. *sighs*
A small part of me missed him today. It was a cold day and there was nothing I could do to get warm. I thought about him--his body, his embrace, his breath... how warm they were and how comforting they used to be. He could right the world with one hug. I'll miss that; I'll miss him.
Thankfully work and worry keep me from too many of these revelries...I have to square accounts with all of our vendors (Job #1) and have all the event locations chosen before next week(Job #2). What pains me is that even if I kill myself to get ahead this week, the four days I'm taking off for the holidays will put me behind again. Argh.
Speaking of...Countdown: 4 days 'til I leave for LA.
I hate LA, I loathe Southern California with an irrational intensity. I don't know if it's that the area reminds me of my family or if it's that I've rejected it on my own as an adult...maybe it's both. *shrugs* Either way, I still hate it and I'm stuck there without a car for the holidays. I'm hoping to drag my sisters/parents to the Getty one of the days I'm down there, but I suspect that it will take a small miracle to get them to leave ______. At the very least I can spend my time walking along the beach, burning off the memory of D and my big fat ass. I'll figure something out.
Anyway, time to go to bed but one last thing....HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNI!!!
(Psst...he's old now and cranky, wish him a happy birthday at http://www.livejournal.com/users/hannibalv)
Night all.
I am SO broke, it's not even funny. I need to find a "real" job with "real" money as soon as possible...if only I could convince a "real" employer to hire me. I won't trouble you with a balance sheet, but at the rate I'm going, to pay off all my current debts (student loans and credit cards, not including interest) I'd have to dedicate THREE years of my current income exclusively to that end. That my friends is a deeply depressing fact. Oy.
A word to the youth: don't get credit cards...they're trouble, I promise; take money from your parents if they offer it...pride gets you no where but in debt; waitress...any job you take in college will be thankless, you should at least get paid appropriately for your grief. Thanks for letting me post the PSA.
Anyway, much anxiety over the whole "no money/no real job" situation. This combined with the enormous workload at Job #1, my dread over going home for Christmas, and my angst about D has left me feeling rather, well, cranky. It's the emotional equivalent to a hangover--you know you'll live through it but you have no idea how long it will last or how bad it will get. I'm less despondent but more cynical. The crying has stopped for now but the lack of faith in humanity has begun--I'm not sure that I'm thrilled about the trade. Three days ago I hated one person intensely, today I have a mild distaste for everyone. Directed anger worked much better for me. Oh well, I guess I'm healing...I wish it the whole process would hurry itself up.
The worst part about breaking up is knowing that you are subject to the "process." If only relationships disappeared as quickly as they sparked...D would be gone from my memory within the week. *sighs*
A small part of me missed him today. It was a cold day and there was nothing I could do to get warm. I thought about him--his body, his embrace, his breath... how warm they were and how comforting they used to be. He could right the world with one hug. I'll miss that; I'll miss him.
Thankfully work and worry keep me from too many of these revelries...I have to square accounts with all of our vendors (Job #1) and have all the event locations chosen before next week(Job #2). What pains me is that even if I kill myself to get ahead this week, the four days I'm taking off for the holidays will put me behind again. Argh.
Speaking of...Countdown: 4 days 'til I leave for LA.
I hate LA, I loathe Southern California with an irrational intensity. I don't know if it's that the area reminds me of my family or if it's that I've rejected it on my own as an adult...maybe it's both. *shrugs* Either way, I still hate it and I'm stuck there without a car for the holidays. I'm hoping to drag my sisters/parents to the Getty one of the days I'm down there, but I suspect that it will take a small miracle to get them to leave ______. At the very least I can spend my time walking along the beach, burning off the memory of D and my big fat ass. I'll figure something out.
Anyway, time to go to bed but one last thing....HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNI!!!
(Psst...he's old now and cranky, wish him a happy birthday at http://www.livejournal.com/users/hannibalv)
Night all.
